Kailash and Sumedha Kailash: An enduring love story

Today is Valentine’s Day, an occasion to celebrate love and longing. There are some stories of love that bring a lump in the throat, others bring a smile and then there are others that inspire. One such story that towers among the inspiring stories of love is that of Nobel laureate Kailash Satyarthi and his wife Sumedha Kailash. This is a story that traces its genesis from complete surrender, endures massive struggles and ultimately brings forth a revolutionary change – a process that has changed the destiny of scores of children across the world.

During the 1970s Kailash Satyarthi was enrolled in an engineering course at his home town in Vidisha, Madhya Pradesh. Along with being actively involved in student politics, he was also associated with Arya Samaj to bring about social change. He was a regular contributor to the Delhi-based Arya Samaj magazine, ‘Jangyan.’ One of his articles in Jangyan about social change became both popular and controversial. During these times, Kailash Satyarthi arrived in Delhi and visited the magazine’s office to meet the editor Bhartendra Nath and his wife Rakesh Rani. But he met a beautiful woman instead – Sumedha, who was the co-editor of the magazine.

Despite being aware of Kailash Satyarthi’s stature as a writer, she did not recognise him. In fact, she had imagined Kailash Satyarthi to be someone with years of experience of fighting for social equality and rights of individuals. The physical appearance of a dashing young man in his early 20s perhaps confused Sumedha who remarked, “This man thinks himself to be Kailash Satyarthi.” But when editor Bhartendra Nath met him, the former could glean that the man was none other than Kailash Satyarthi himself. 

Bhartendra Nath then took him home for dinner where a bewildered Sumedha could only watch in silence. Kailash Satyarthi talked to all family members except Sumedha, who was too shy and tongue-tied. The next morning when Sumedha brought him morning tea, she asked, “How many teaspoons of sugar?” To this, Kailash Satyarthi replied, “As you have brought the tea yourself, even if you don’t put sugar, it will still be sweet.” Sumedha could only smile.

It was exactly at this point that the love story between Kailash Ji and Sumedha Ji started. Once he returned to Vidisha, Kailash Ji realised the effect that Sumedha had on him. It is but natural not to realise the longings of love when a couple is together and separation makes the heart grow fonder. Often Kailash Ji would glance at Sumedha’s picture in the Jangyan magazine and think that there was something special about her. In fact, both had fallen in love but could not express it because of the cultural and social norms restricting and stigmatizing love affairs. Time just flew by and during the subsequent year the couple did not exchange any letters, nor did they have any dialogue.

Meanwhile, Kailash Ji’s childhood friend Omprakash Ji played the role of mediator between the couple. All thanks to him, the couple met after a year in Mathura, where they found brief moments of togetherness.

In due course, Sumedha’s family came to know about the couple’s love for each other. To initiate the talks of marriage, Sumedha’s parents reached Vidisha. But because of his iconoclastic image, Kailash Satyarthi was not popular with the traditionist segment in the society. He did not listen to the religious orders of the priests. Kailash Ji’s recent practice of having food cooked by Dalits further infuriated the upper castes and they went to the extent of ostracizing him from the community.

But Kailash Ji continued his struggle against societal discrimination and even spoke freely for the rights of girl students as a student leader. While antagonising the upper castes, these very qualities, such as having food with Dalits, involving Dalits in religious rituals, protest against the misuse of red beacon government vehicles and efforts for cleaning the city, had endured him among the masses. He had acquired the image of a young revolutionary.

The place where Bhartendra Nath had stayed in Vidisha was of an individual who was completely opposed to Kailash Ji’s endeavours. At the same time when other traditionists came to know that Bhartendra Nath was planning to marry his daughter to Kailash Ji, they were enraged. Things reached such a pass that these people conspired to prevent the marriage. Branding Kailash Ji as a rogue and a criminal, these people spread false rumours against him. Sumedha Ji’s parents were influenced by the false stories and refused to marry her to Kailash Ji.

But Sumedha Ji was adamant that she would only marry Kailash Satyarthi. The couple’s love story now witnessed a stormy phase, interspersed with phases of optimism and pessimism. At times, the plans for marriage would seem to materialise, only to be followed by a period where marriage appeared an elusive dream. But the tempestuous period only tested their love, cementing their bond and making the couple inseparable.

One day Kailash Ji wrote a four-page letter to his beloved Sumedha underlining the objectives and goals of his life. He said, “My Sumedha must have such self-control and patience that people envy her. Just like we are committed to complete social change… The lives of those who refuse to live in the narrow confines of ‘self’ and choose to dwell in the infinite and limitless world of ‘others’ should maintain poise and equanimity in turbulent and difficult situations.” He even wrote a poem highlighting the purpose of his life:

Ujli Imarat ke lakh diye bemani,
Chalo bane ek diya andhiyari basti ka,
Bahar ke saath saath antas ka tam mite,
Farq mite bund aur sagar ki hasti ka…

(The lakhs of lamps of the white structure are useless,
Let’s be a single lamp in the dark human settlement,
To remove the darkness of both inside and outside
To remove the difference between a drop and the ocean)

Finally, the day came which the couple was eagerly waiting for. Sumedha Ji called Kailash Satyarthi over the phone and said that her parents had fixed the day of marriage as Sunday. If for any reason, Kailash ji did not marry Sumedha on Sunday, she would then be married to another man. She then urgently requested Kailash Ji to reach Delhi. Understanding the gravity of the situation, Kailash Ji quickly convinced his family and reached Delhi with a few friends and family members. On the evening of October 8, 1977, the couple was married in a simple ceremony.

Many have said that those with noble goals and great objectives face the lion’s share of struggles and challenges. Undoubtedly, it is a way in which nature tests the resolve of such individuals. Perhaps, nature prepares these individuals for the future trials and tribulations. Kailash Ji and Sumedha Ji got married against all odds and today Kailash Satyarthi is often referred to as ‘the hope of Children.’

Nobel laureate Kailash Satyarthi together with Sumedha Kailash started the Bachpan Bachao Andolan (BBA) in 1980. This was the time when there was little awareness about child rights. In the past four decades, BBA has rescued more than one lakh children from slavery. We can well imagine Kailash Ji’s struggle but few know that Sumedha Ji has been a rock in his life – a source of constant support and love. Enduring hardship and poverty or even selling her jewellery to free children from slavery and bring a smile of their faces, the grit and determination of Sumedha Ji has been instrumental in providing a life of dignity to vulnerable and exploited children.